Controversial, I know, but hear me out.

Last year, I had the honour of being invited to speak on a panel at Australia’s largest conference dedicated to loneliness and connection, ‘The National Loneliness Conference,’ held in Melbourne, Australia. Whilst attending across the two days, I heard time and time again from researchers and experts in their fields about the ‘Loneliness Epidemic’ we find ourselves in. What astounded me most wasn’t the association between loneliness and mental health conditions like anxiety and depression, but the correlation with physical health conditions like cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and premature death.

In recent years, researchers found that loneliness was as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day, a statistic that I don’t think we’re talking about nearly enough.

There is no doubt about it; loneliness doesn’t just negatively impact your mental health, it has a significant impact on your physical health and wellbeing.

Now let’s talk about burnout. ‘Burnout’ is ‘a state of severe emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged, unmanaged stress, typically stemming from work or intense personal responsibilities.’ It’s important to note here that ‘burnout’ is not a medical condition, but rather, is classified as an ‘occupational phenomenon’ by the World Health Organisation (WHO).

Like loneliness, ‘burnout’, too has reached crisis levels in recent years. Coincidence? Unlikely. And if you were to draw a venn diagram of the symptoms of Loneliness and Burnout, it would look suspiciously close to a circle. Fatigue, sleep disturbances, feeling detached, headaches and body aches, brain fog, difficulty concentrating, and frequent illness are all listed as symptoms of both loneliness and burnout. Additionally, burnout can lead to self-isolation, further perpetuating loneliness. and conversely, chronic loneliness can increase your susceptibility to burnout. Which begs the question: how do you tell the difference enough to know which one you’re really dealing with?

As humans, we have a biologically hardwired tendency to withdraw when we’re not well, a byproduct of evolution passed down by our ancestors. If you’re sick, you’re a risk to the tribe. So it makes sense that when you’re feeling ‘burnt out,’ the tendency is to pull away. Sprinkle in a dose of hyperindividualism and the over-prioritisation of boundaries and ‘protect your peace’ culture that’s prominent across social media, and it’s no wonder that every part of your being would rather stay home after work and cancel plans on the weekend. But if those efforts are feeling more futile than fulfilling, it might be time to rethink the strategy.

Of course, it’s always best to start with a trip to your GP to rule out any other possible medical causes for how you’re feeling. But in the absence of disease, illness, and vitamin deficiencies, the prescription might actually be social connection.

“But I’m an introvert.” “But I work in a people facing role.” “But I’m surrounded by people all day and feel exhausted by the time I get home.” Believe me, I hear you. I spent 10 years working in healthcare; most days I came home completely “people-d out” wanting nothing more than to crash on the couch with netflix and my cat. On the occasions where I did have plans after work, I’d spend the entire day cursing the moment I agreed to them, considering all possible excuses to bail, and eventually mentally psyching myself up to going. But funnily enough, never once did I regret going. I may have come home tired, sure. But no more tired than I would have been anyway. And that ‘tired’ felt vastly different to the kind of fatigue and exhaustion I felt on Monday mornings after spending an entire weekend ‘protecting my energy’ at home, alone.

There’s a difference between dealing with people and problems all day because it’s your job, and meaningful social connection. And spending 40-50 hours a week in one doesn’t negate your human need for the other. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking you to attend every after work networking opportunity that lands in your inbox. But what I am imploring you to consider is this:

Organise a walk with a friend. Invite that co-worker you get on well with for a bite to eat after work. Join a social sporting league. Find a community club that piques your interest. Take up a class and actually introduce yourself to your new classmates. Say hi to the girl on the reformer next to you at your 6am Pilates class, and maybe grab a quick coffee with her before you both rush off to work. And then take note: how do you feel afterwards? Better? If so, you might have your answer…

This is my very first Substack post and honestly? I think I have a little imposter syndrome. But if you resonated, feel free to stay. I’m looking forward to writing more about friendship, connection, and probably whatever else I’m feeling called to share. And yes, the memes will mostly likely be sticking around too.

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